Ask questions about office, money, career and work-life balance email@example.com.. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. You can edit the characters.
Too many flaunts
I work for a non-profit organization that helps alleviate the situation of poverty. My boss and another senior colleague are lucky enough to be born wealthy and don’t have to work. As we work from home more often last year, we’re hoping that we’ll be able to respond to luxury vacations, home remodeling, and sharing stories and photos of luxury parties. Like many colleagues, I’m having a hard time feeding my family, and the pandemic deepens those challenges. I don’t resent their blessings to anyone, but I find my colleague’s push to show off personal wealth that lacks empathy and embarrassment in the context of our work. I don’t know if there is a good way to brooch this theme with my teammates, or if I just need to let go. What do you advise?
— Anonymous, New York City
It’s bad for your seniors to show off their wealth while running a non-profit organization that helps alleviate poverty. Talk about cognitive dissonance. And the implicit obligation of your positive reaction to their lifestyle is additional frustration. As for how you should proceed, it depends on the temperament of your seniors and the professional consequences of expressing your concerns. Do they accept constructive feedback? If so, cleverly state your concerns about the optics of their personal sharing given the mission of the organization. For too many people, perception is a reality, so it’s better not to hurt your job by making the people who run this nonprofit appear to be less exposed to the reality of poverty. May remind them. Also, I don’t think there is a need to deal with their privileged over-sharing. It is not part of the description of your work. You can argue without being content with their new boat as they wish.
Daily business briefing
Honeymoon is over
I got a new professional finance job a month ago and I think my honeymoon is officially over. The manager who hired me was hostile and rude three times a day. To be fair, she is experiencing extreme turnover and difficult times of illness among her staff, and half of her department is out. In addition, she is working on her own arm injury.
I really respect and like her when she feels good. But she is very responsive, impulsive and dull. She insults all staff with her “nickname,” turning her face in front of other team members and whispering (screaming) to colleagues behind her. Insults are often legitimate business questions or responses to people trying to work. This harsh new work environment has greatly discouraged me. The morale of the staff is very calm and no one speaks anything.
Recently, no one had gathered at the monthly corporate regional conference to introduce three new employees to various members of other departments. It was as if social skills had been outlawed. I love the company and appreciate the salaries, benefits and career opportunities here. As long as my work goes on, I’m off to a good start. What should I do to protect myself from the bad mood and non-professional practices of this manager?
We are now experiencing it in some way. Ideally, we should be more patient and considerate of others. And sometimes stress will make us better. However, your boss chronically addresses her personal issues in a professional environment. It’s not just unfriendly. It is unproductive and unacceptable. How do you protect yourself from manager volatility if you can’t predict it? And when you’re trying to develop a defensive strategy to protect yourself from your colleagues, you’re positioning yourself as a problem when you’re not. The only real way to protect yourself is to get out of this manager’s orbit, which seems impossible. The frustrating reality is that when a manager behaves badly, there is little to rely on. Despite the human resources, the department serves the organization, not the employees. They are not necessarily allies. Your manager seems to be doing a lot and isn’t irreparably evil. Is there a way to give direct feedback on her behavior when she feels sick? She may be unaware of the morale of the team and the impact it has on individual team members. When my boss says it’s unacceptable, can I point it out and push it back? Can you encourage others to do so? Conflicts are unpleasant, but abusive bosses are also unpleasant. Choose the former.